Smooth Ride

Lately I've been cruising around in my mom's car instead of my SUV. But before I ended up with my mom's car, I've been driving the car my husband usually drives--our '99 Nissan Sentra. Which was the car I picked out for myself, including all of the upgraded stereo components, down to the 12" sub in the trunk. But since having my daughter, I've been driving the lumbering ox...I mean '02 Dodge Durango. Which has a shake in it. And gets terrible gas mileage. And one of the speakers in the back isn't working. Due to the recent spike in gas prices, I've been driving the little car because I've been going further from home. So nice, such a smooth ride. So of course the antifreeze starts boiling, and it has to be in the shop. So my dad let me borrow my mom's car--well, I guess technically it's my dad's car since my mom died in March, but that's off topic. This car is a Dodge Intrepid. We call it the Canyonero because it's so honking big (two miles wide, seats 45, Canyonero). It drives great--but it's huge. And I'm used to driving a huge vehicle, just not one that's so close to the ground.

But it does ride smooth--a little too smooth. I took my daughter to get a haircut, and she was asleep before we got to Great Clips. There's always tomorrow.

My Life Revolves Around Poop

I'm not sure when it happened, but for some reason my whole life revolves around poop. My daughter is almost 3, and we're attempting to potty train. She'll make yellow in the little potty, but not brown. And at the risk of being gross, it usually is fairly pellet like, which is good and bad. Because for about a week, pellets would fall out of her diaper as I carried it to the bathroom to empty into the toilet. So then I'd find a poo pellet on the carpet, or the floor of the bathroom. The worst was when I found a dried up pellet on her changing table. You might think I should have changed the way I dealt with the diapers. In hindsight, that would have made sense. Although I have been paying better attention lately.

I've been changing diapers for almost 3 years now, and basically my whole day revolves around changing the baby---er, toddler. Change her again. Is that a smell? Does she need to be changed? And let's not forget picking up the doggy do on the lawn. We don't even have a dog! I've seen zoos that have cleaner cages than our yard.

There was even a 3 month window back in 2007 where my husband had a temporary colostomy bag, and while I didn't have to empty it out, I did have to help him attach the new one, and help clean the ostomy area. Let's just say I have a deep respect for anyone who goes into nursing as a career, and particularly the ostomy nurses. I think they should be paid more. In fact, anyone who has to deal with body fluids and or other related items should get paid a lot.

But that's off topic. I forsee a day, deep in the future, where my life no longer revolves on diaper changes, or if everyone has gone to the potty. Possibly in 20 years, when my darling daughter is graduating from college. I guess we'll see. In the meantime, I guess I'll continue to buy the big box of off-brand wipes at Wal-Mart, and if I have any sense, some plastic gloves as well.

My New Pet Peeve

I cannot stand it when people use the word Ginormous. It's not a word, and there are a myriad of reasons why. 1. If it was a word, spell check wouldn't flag it as a typo. 2. It's a hybrid of giant and enormous, which pretty much mean the same thing. That means it's redundant. I hate things that are redundant. 3. It's not a word! And I personally think that when businesses use it on signs, or writers for TV guide use it, they look stupid. That includes the essential oil shop in town. The only thing that would make it look stupider was using Comic Sans for the font on the sign. But that's not the point.

Because this makes me cringe, I have banned the use of the non-word ginormous from my house. I have forbidden by 2-year-old daughter from learning the non-word and using it. And really, I cringe when I hear this word.

Yes, I do realize that if you go to dictionary.com and check you will find ginormous listed. And yes, it lists the etymology of the word to the 40's. But, it still has a stupid definition, and it hasn't come into popular usage until the last year. Just because someone jumps off a cliff, doesn't mean we all jump off a cliff. Literary or literally.

While I'm mentioning non-words, it turns out agreeance is actually technically a word, although it is considered obsolete and of questionable parentage.

Socks

Why is it that every pair of socks I own has a hole in the heel? I buy socks all the time. I bought socks last week at Wal-Mart. And yet, not only can I not find two socks that match, I can't even find one sock without a hole in it.

This could be due to the fact that I hate to wear shoes, so I'm always running around in my socks. I'd run around in bare feet more, but the garage floor is generally cold, and it's bad enough going out there to get some ice cream out of the freezer without my feet freezing too. When I do go out barefoot, I have to do the frozen foot dance, which is tough when you're doing the frozen fingers juggle.

When I discover my socks have holes in them, I throw them away. If I wasn't buying new socks to replace them, I would understand why I have no socks. But I do replace them. Where is my bag of socks?

Good thing sandal weather is coming up. Now if I could only find two sandals that match each other...

Okay, It's Official

So after reading many, many blogs (too many) written by other people, and leaving many, many comments, I determined that I can be just as snarky as the next blogger, and I really need my own outlet for my own thoughts. Hence, I had to get my own blog. But every title I came up with was taken! Finally, I just used the first thing I heard that hadn't been used. Now I'm working my way through the layout options--setting up a blog has more work entailed than I thought. When do I get to the part where I get to make snarky comments? When can I rail about my new arch-foe, Bagel Lady? Oh, right, once I make sure everything is working on the blog. Got it.